Dunder Mifflin this is Pam...WHERE IS JIM?

Ok, my first full day at the mortgage bank (still don't know what they do there) is over. Since I had no Internet, I had to make bullet pointed notes on a post it, from which I will try to make a blog entry. Also you should know that I just sneezed and my crest white strip went flying out of my mouth across the room.

*There is a woman in the office named Karen who is called "The Closer". Every time she walks by me, I pray I find the courage to ask her "So...are you stoked they decided to cast Kyra Sedgewick to play you on tv?

*A dream boat supreme came in the office for a meeting today. He was huge and sounded just like puddy from Seinfeld. I thought about high fiving him, but held my arm down and went with "Mornin.."

*They bathroom keys are attached to like 10 pound wooden logs you have to take with you to use the rest room. The men's key was missing for like 2 hours. One man stood in front of my desk for 27 minutes waiting...another man chose to take a magazine from the waiting area table and straight up leave the building. Later in the afternoon the boss used his own personal key (that because he makes the big bucks) and came back with the wooden log..and NO KEY! le gasp! I will crack this case tomorrow.

*SUELEN is the office manager. SUELEN is about 55. Today she was wearing green leggings, a mini jean skirt and black chuck taylors. She is rude and snippy with me. "But Suelen, you're tall..you don't wear a bra...we hate each other!" (second Seinfeld reference. go with it)

*Some lady brought in a tub of dumb cookies. The boss came up to my ear and whispered..no joke he whispered in my ear "can you please make a sign that says 'use the tongs to get a cookie. do not touch with your hand' and put it on the jar? thanks". I made the sign and put it on the jar than worried for a half hour that "tongs" might be one of those weird words and it was really spelled "thongs" and everyone would think I was retarded. I didn't even get a cookie.

*They say the word "Appraisal" all the time, it to me...it always sounds like "bagel"

*On my lunch break I went to Walgreen's to buy a Sudoku book to try to keep busy and sharpen my ol' noggin. Turns out I don't like that puzzle anymore and find it lame and boring. Or I just got dumber since college.

*Lastly...the miracle whip DID make for a really..and truly...jazzy sandwich.