Hey there, what can I get for you tonight? We have a special on paper clips, and also the post it notes are half off.

So, sitting at a reception desk and being a friendly face that people do not know that well, but are getting comfortable with, which pretty much makes me the office bartender. The employees of this place come up to my desk several times during the day to make a lame joke, to vent to me about something, to "flirt" with me, or even just make small talk while they wait for the bathroom key. A woman even told me I was a "great listener" as if I had some choice in the matter? I'm stuck at the fuckin desk!

The head of this company does not ever interact with me. He is a busy man, and I don't mind. However...on Monday he sauntered up to my desk,leaned on the top and looked dead into my eyes and said "How would you like it if your boyfriend said this to you..." then he tried to be cool, made some weird hand movements and said something in Italian. "Sure, I said. That would be wonderful" Although in truth, If I had a boyfriend who randomly erupted in Italian, I would roll my eyes and tell him to save it. ANYWAYS he then says "you wanna know what it means?" to which I play along.."Yes?" He holds back his smirk and says "Those shoes are not mine". Then he walks away from my desk, never to be seen for the rest of the day.

I have no Internet, I don't like Sudoku and no one wants me to do any work besides answer the phone, and smile when they walk by. I have been filling my days with my beloved 'People' magazine which I read cover to cover, in a very specific three round process, and a new Chuck Klosterman book that makes me confident that the world is OK. They are paying me to do these things.

There is a whole foods right around the corner which is a gift from god. I don't think I can express via written word my love for whole foods and the person I want to be when I walk in those doors. I imagine this is what some people feel when they go to church.

I am off today, applying for jobs I will never hear from and doing laundry which I will hear..from..what? I don't know.